dabbler's Vampire Journal

dabbler's Journal

THIS JOURNAL IS ON 196 FAVORITE JOURNAL LISTS
Honor: 0 [ Give / Take ]

6 entries this month

← Dec 2013

Mar 2014 →

16:37 Feb 27 2014
Times Read: 440

A bloke walks into a chemist and says to the assistant, ‘I have three girls coming over tonight. I’ve never had three at once, so I need something to keep me horny.’The chemist gives him a box of mysterious pills marked with an ‘X’ and says, ‘Here, if you eat these you’ll be rock-hard for 12 hours.’The bloke says, ‘Brilliant! Give me three boxes.’The next day, the bloke walks into the same chemist and pulls down his trousers. The assistant looks in horror as he notices the man’s cock is black and blue, with skin hanging off in places.The man says, ‘Give me a bottle of Deep Heat.’The assistant says, ‘Deep Heat? You’re not going to put Deep Heat on that, are you?’The man says, ‘No, it’s for my arms – the girls didn’t show up.’

COMMENTS

LORDMOGY
19:46 Feb 27 2014

LOL! Good one!

10:30 Feb 22 2014
Times Read: 460

This a real cool segment that shows how spiffy nature is.

COMMENTS

lordess
12:14 Feb 22 2014

Very interesting! I love how creative it looks.

BLOODLIFE
17:41 Feb 27 2014

Very cool indeed.

00:55 Feb 17 2014
Times Read: 492

Here is an example of a person that fishes for attention by using buzz words most likely adopted from Beyond Scared Straight, it just has the scent of script about it. This along with her first journal entry.

"Ive been through hell and back and it started at a young age but sometimes you have to go through somethings to be how you are today, I'm 4"10, very short I know I have long natural brown hair that flows all the way to my butt,

Recently I dyed my hair red I have brown reddish eyes, I have a lip, nose, and bellybutton ring.

I'm fun when I'm at a party, I smoke, drink, have sex. Most every day people think I'm just a happy normal 15 year old but really I'm depressed, lonley, suicidal, and just really troubled.

But I'm not going to say I'm weak cuz I'm not I'm very strong because everything ive gone through here I am still alive still fighting for myself and what I want and believe in if you read my stuff and rate me or have any tips for me to help me move up levels plz message me and tell me and add me as your friend on here thanks!!!"

"how i landed here in this vampire rave

16:20:03 - Feb 16 2014

Times Read: 62

Well, um 15 on house arrest fucking bored depressed suicidal an really fucked up, id been on chatrooms before but they never really satisfied me unless I was talking to a strange guy about sex how that aroused me an I love doing it but then I started getting bored so I typed in dark chat rooms and here I find this wonderful place that I think I'm going to enjoy very much since I cant get out my fucking house here ill find my release in the under ground world were I can be me. "

COMMENTS

Lylia
01:05 Feb 17 2014

~shakes head

ThothLestat
04:08 Feb 17 2014

*bangs head against keyboard*

04:41 Feb 06 2014
Times Read: 526

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down. and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device ... a dildo! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one.

She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says calmly: "I’ll explain the toy ... you explain the kids."

COMMENTS

dabbler
04:44 Feb 06 2014

Q: What do you call a truck load of vibrators? A: Toys for Twats

NLW
04:59 Feb 06 2014

That's so punny!

dabbler
05:02 Feb 06 2014

I know I am a punster myself, a guilty masochism.

04:19 Feb 06 2014
Times Read: 531

There's this Wizard who worked in a factory. Everything was satisfactory except that miscreants, taking advantage of his good nature, would steal his parking spot. This continued until he put up the following sign: "This parking space belongs to the Wizard. ... Violators will be toad."

COMMENTS

00:40 Feb 05 2014
Times Read: 549

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't

10. Have you looked through her briefs?

9. He is one hard judge!

8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.

7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.

6. Is it a penal offense?

5. Better leave the handcuffs on.

4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!

3. Can you get him to drop his suit?

2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.

1. Think you can get me off?